Birth Isn’t Scary!
The greatest trick the modern world ever pulled was convincing women that birth is a fearful emergency instead of an instinctual natural process. I’m so annoyed that society has taken such a normal and physiological process and turned it into this fear-filled theatrical rare event. Home birth, free birth, water birth, unmedicated birth……it’s all just birth! Yet, so many people are still stuck in the mainstream, pharma-fed, fear-mongering, straight-up BS that hospitals, doctors, media, and politics push:
🚨 Birth is painful!
🚨 Birth is the scariest!
🚨 Birth requires medical attention and interventions!
The Misconception of Strength in Birth
When discussing my most recent pregnancy with an acquaintance, it came up that we’d had 2 home births and were planning on a free birth this time around. After answering their questions about what all of that means and looks like, their response has lit a fire under my butt that I can’t put out, so here I go.
“Wow! That’s wild! You’re seriously the strongest and toughest woman I know!!”
Thanks, but actually I’m sorry, WHAT? Since when did giving birth in safety and without interference become evidence of our “toughness”? Why is it that when a woman chooses to give birth the way she was created and intended to, we’re titled as strong and tough? Why isn’t this just the way it is? A doe isn’t strong because she births her babies. Neither is a monkey or dog or any other mammal. It’s just what it is.
And yet, we’ve been conditioned to see it as something extraordinary, something only the 'brave' or 'strong' do when they choose to birth outside the system. But is it really that wild? Or have we just forgotten what normal birth actually looks like?
The Reality of Birth: Not Painful, Not Scary, Just Birth
Let’s talk about it for a minute. Birth is the same as it’s been for as long as humans have been on this earth! Birth has been around, simple and boring, untouched, unmedicated, un-“saved” for a long ass time! When will the world wake up to the BS and come back to the truths that have kept humanity going for all of history? As a mama who has birthed six babies, I can tell you—birth is NOT the scariest or most painful thing I’ve ever experienced. (Seriously, ask me about repacking that nasty MRSA infection sometime! 😩)
The MRSA Story: A Pain Worse Than Birth
And since you asked...😆
I had a MRSA infection right where my bra strap sits on my upper side. It got bad—like really bad—requiring daily office visits to have it repacked. (This was back before I knew about holistic living... we’ve all got a past, right? 😉) Eventually, it got severe enough that they sent me to the ER, where they decided the wound needed to be packed—meaning a cotton strand was pushed deep into the gaping hole in my side. MRSA infections are INCREDIBLY sensitive and painful, so you can imagine the excruciating pain when they shot the area with local anesthesia. It was so bad I was gasping for breath, my throat felt like it was swelling shut, and I was whispering to my husband between gasps that I couldn’t breathe.
Typing this out, it does kind of sound like the transition stage of birth... but I’m telling you, I’d give birth five times over if it meant I could avoid that pain again. It was BAD! Birth is NOT the most pain I’ve ever experienced.
Birth is Unpredictable, Just Like Life
Is birth always perfect, and are we always guaranteed the outcome we desire or picture? Hell no, but that goes for literally every other aspect of this human experience too! We get in our cars knowing accidents happen. We take our kids to the park knowing they might fall. We eat food knowing we could choke. But somehow, birth is the one thing that must be completely controlled or feared? Why? Every day we wake up, there’s no guarantee that life’s going to be rainbows and unicorns.
Where Did the Fear of Birth Come From?
So where does this fear come from? It’s layered, but much of it began when birth was moved from the home—where it had always been—to the medical system. I'll try not to get on my soapbox here, but let’s be real: hospitals, their authoritative doctors, and rigid protocols are where most of the fear and complications around birth actually come from. Birth didn’t become scary until it was placed in an environment designed for illness, emergencies, and control.
The Impact of Birth Environments
The environment we birth in matters. Hospitals are full of bright lights, sterile walls, and the heavy energy of sickness and death. They’re filled with strangers who believe they know our bodies better than we do, enforcing outdated rules and protocols with zero evidence behind them that we’re expected to follow.
The Role of Birth Attendants: Who You Birth With Matters
The people we birth with matter too! Obstetricians are surgeons first and foremost. Yes, they also deliver babies, but their training is rooted in surgery. The core difference between an OB and a midwife? One is trained to perform cesareans; the other is trained to support natural, physiological birth. If someone has a deep passion for surgery, follows protocols without question, and views birth as a problem to manage rather than a process to support—I sure don’t want them anywhere near my body during one of the most vulnerable moments of my life.
The Medical Model of Birth: Creating the Fear It Claims to Solve
Fear around birth began when hospitals came in to 'save the day,' but in reality, they created many of the problems they claim to fix. Interventions that disrupt labor, impose unnecessary risks, and strip women of their autonomy are what lead to so many traumatic birth experiences. The medical model doesn’t trust birth—it manages it. And in doing so, it has convinced generations of women that birth is something to fear rather than something to surrender to.
The Truth About Home Birth: Less Intervention, Less Fear
The reality is, home birth often leads to fewer complications, which means there’s actually less to fear—not more. When birth is left undisturbed, when a woman is in a place where she feels safe and supported, the chances of it unfolding smoothly are MUCH higher.
The more we intervene, the more we disrupt the natural flow of labor. The more we fear birth, the more we try to control it—and that control is what leads to unnecessary complications, trauma, and interventions.
So what happens when we don’t fear birth? When we don’t try to manage or manipulate it? We see birth for what it really is: a natural, physiological event, not a medical emergency.
And at the same time, the core of what I love about birth is the transformation that it brings. Its one of the greatest gift birth offers to families! Do we tend to transform when things are easy and predictable? Nah! Us humans need the tension, the constant call to surrender, the deep deep lessons that come with birth. So we do our best to set the environment for our birth, to call in the rainbows and unicorns, and then we process and move through whatever ends up coming. This is why I choose to birth at home—where I feel safest, where I can surrender fully, and where birth can unfold as it was meant to. Not because I’m stronger, not because I’m tougher, but because I trust birth, my body, and the wisdom that has been passed down for generations. Birth is a journey, a rite of passage, and whether it brings ease or challenges, I welcome it as one of the greatest teachers of life.
Thanks for being here and following your own intuition. It feels good to not be the only one. If this spoke to you, share it. More women need to remember what birth is.